Some geeky jokes and oneliners...

I love science jokes and puns no end :) Especially biology related.

I'd posted a joke earlier, here are a few more jokes and oneliners  - 

 

Q. How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Only one, but it takes millions of years.

(nice dig at evolutionists ;) )

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions. 

( a pun on 'solution')

"The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance." 

I heard this morning that veterinarians are beginning to use on household animals expensive  diagnostic equipment previously only available for humans, including CAT and PET scanners.

Q: Why won't Heisenbergs' operators live in the suburbs ?
A: They don't commute.

(a beautiful pun on the mathematical property of commutativity of quantum operators and also on the word 'operator' which might mean a mathematical operator or, a human being - machine operator for e.g according to context) 

Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?

(nice one on the gene-jean pair of homophones. We have had designer jeans for long, and we are moving towards technology which will actually make modifying and designing genes possible in the near future.) 

Q: How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?
A: Pull down its genes. 

(another good one on the same homophonic pair) 

Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees"

Did you hear about the biologist who had twins?  She baptized one 

and kept the other as a control.

(on meticulous biologists who would do nothing without first allocating a control group) 

A mushroom walked into a bar. 

The bar tender said, "Get out of here! We don't serve your kind."
Mushroom: "Hey, what's the problem?"
Bartender: "Just get out of here. We don't serve mushrooms."
The mushroom in anguish says, "Why not? Ain't i a fun guy ?"

(doesn't 'fun guy' sound like 'fungi' :D)

According to latest news, the huge new prime number discovered recently is exactly four times bigger than the previous record.

(A subtle one; how can a number be prime if it is a multiple of 4 ? ;) )

There are three types of mathematicians: those who can add and those who can't.

Do add any good ones you know as a comment to the post... 

Found these at:

http://www.juliantrubin.com/biologyjokes.html

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/4_6.html

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